


Equilibrium

by SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)



Series: What We Create in the Shadows October Prompt Fills [7]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Halloween, Humor, M/M, Post-S2 Finale, Prompt Fill, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, WWC2020, What We Create In October Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedapilot/pseuds/SafetyHazard
Summary: Guillermo and Nandor (and the rest of the vampires) celebrate Halloween.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: What We Create in the Shadows October Prompt Fills [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946776
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the What We Create in the Shadows (WWCITS) October prompt list. Day 31: Halloween
> 
> Happy Halloween, everybody! Have a super self-indulgent fic to wrap up WWC2020!

The late afternoon sun lances through the mosaic of fall foliage overhead, painting the promenade in mottled red and gold. Guillermo's shoes crunch lightly on the gravel as he makes his way toward the farmer's market.

It's nearing the end of apple-picking season, so he stops by his favorite stand and buys himself an apple cider donut and a bottle of apple cider. This might be the last chance for the season; the forecast has ominously predicted heavy snowfall within the week. Leaving the stalls behind, he meanders down the street, alternating bites of donut with swigs of cider, and savors the way the tart juice balances out the almost-cloying sweetness of the pastry.

One day, maybe soon, he won't be able to eat these anymore. But for now, Guillermo lets himself enjoy.

The old-timey bell on the door jingles when he walks into Charlie's Confections. He waves hello to the woman behind the counter and heads down the aisles. A few minutes later, he's found what he's looking for, and he brings the items up to the register: a pumpkin-shaped candy basket, a pouch of small white sticks, and a sleeve of candy wrappers. Placing them in his reusable grocery bag, Guillermo thanks the cashier and walks back out into the brisk air.

His next stop is the grocery store, where he buys potatoes, a bag of Maseca, and - he checks the list on his phone - a packet of piloncillo. He piles them into the bag as well. Tomorrow, he'll bring them to his Amá's apartment so they can prepare food for Día de Muertos. Tonight, though, he has plans at home.

\--

The sun is low in the sky by the time Guillermo gets back, a blood-red halo lingering over the horizon as he makes his way up to the front door. Stepping inside to the familiar creak of the hinges, he heads straight for the kitchen.

An hour and a half later, Guillermo knocks on Nandor's door, then enters to see the vampire alighting from his coffin, slippered feet tapping gently on the hardwood floor when he lands. Turning, Nandor says eagerly, "You see, I did not need to call you for help exiting my coffin, Guillermo!"

Guillermo smiles fondly and gives his habitual response. "I'm proud of you, Nandor." The vampire beams at him. Stepping close, Guillermo stands up on his tiptoes, and Nandor takes the hint, snaking powerful arms around Guillermo's ample torso and dipping down for a chaste kiss.

They stay like that for a harmonious moment, then break apart. Guillermo retrieves the brush from the corner table while Nandor lays himself out across the chaise. Pulling the brush leisurely through Nandor's locks, Guillermo asks, "Are you ready for tonight?"

Nandor scoffs. "You think I would forget? I have been preparing for this for weeks, Guillermo. Nothing shall stop me tonight!" Guillermo bites back his grin.

\--

Colin Robinson is the first to meet Guillermo in the foyer; he's dressed in his work clothes with one minor adjustment - a wire runs underneath his tie, curling it up into a U. "Everyone seems to think I'm just some 'Dilbert-looking guy'," he explains, "so I thought I might as well dress the part."

A minute later, a bat flutters past the chandelier and Laszlo appears with a shout of "Human form!" He sets a toothpick between his lips, hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans, and winks at them. "Jackie Daytona, at your service on this All Hallow's Eve. Provisioning human drinks, or perhaps just drinking humans." He chuckles at his own joke.

"Oh, a big strong human man has appeared in our house," Nadja says, sauntering in from the fancy room. She is dressed in her usual finery. "That tiny stake in your mouth is oh-so-dangerous, strange human," she drawls, tucking a finger under Laszlo's chin and tilting his head up as he gazes at her adoringly.

Colin gives her a bemused look. "Are you just...not going to dress up, Nadja? I thought the whole point of us going trick-or-treating was to dress up. It's an integral part of the experi-"

Nadja cuts him off. "Oh shut up, Colin Robinson. We all know you're just going to run off on your own to feed anyway."

Further discussion is interrupted by the door to Nandor's crypt slamming open, followed by a loud clanking. Guillermo shakes his head and stifles a giggle when Nandor steps out into the hallway wearing an unwieldy set of armor, plates of sheet metal scraping against each other. "I, Nandor the Relentless, have arrived!" He declares, brandishing a sword in one hand and the pumpkin basket in the other.

"Oh look," Nadja says. "The great bloody donkey thinks he's a conquerer again."

Nandor sputters indignantly, and Guillermo watches from the sidelines as the vampires quarrel with one another. He's seen countless spats like this in the last decade, but now, uncowed and equal, he can appreciate their eccentricities rather than standing warily at attention while they argue.

\--

Predictably, things go awry almost as soon as they step out of the house. Two assassins leap out of the bushes in the front lawn, but Guillermo stakes them both in an instant. The other vampires barely notice, by now accustomed to their bodyguard slaying pursuers left and right, but Nandor hangs back.

"Thank you, Guillermo," he mutters, sheathing his sword so he can pat Guillermo on the shoulder appreciatively.

Guillermo wipes the bloody stake on the corpse's cape and smiles. "You're welcome, Nandor."

They attempt to mingle with the marauding bands of costumed children and chaperones, but their gaggle of mostly-pale adults attracts distrustful stares and wide berths. Two blocks down the street, Colin Robinson's eyes flash blue, and he soon wanders off toward the sound of several parents arguing in someone's driveway about healthy treats. Nadja rolls her eyes, vindicated.

She and Laszlo last longer, but half an hour later, they announce that they are hungry and bat off in pursuit of a raucous gang of college students who had passed by a few minutes earlier. Guillermo notices Nandor's disappointment in the slump of his shoulders, but they continue to walk down the street.

Nandor's frustration grows increasingly obvious. After the fifteenth house that rejects them because they "look too old", Nandor drops the plastic pumpkin, which smacks hollowly on the pavement, and stomps away, clanging with each step. Guillermo equanimously scoops up the basket and trots after him. 

Halting the vampire's progress with a hand on his armored wrist, Guillermo holds out the pumpkin. "I have an idea," he says, looking up into Nandor's discouraged eyes. "Let's go back to the house." Nandor meets his earnest gaze and relents.

\--

When they arrive at the front porch, Guillermo jogs ahead a few steps and turns to Nandor. "Wait here," he says. "When you hear me walk back up to the front door, come up and ring the bell." Nandor pouts but agrees.

He listens to Guillermo's footsteps pad away, then return, accompanied by a light swishing sound and a slightly elevated heartbeat. Curious, Nandor rings the bell and stares in shock when Guillermo opens the door.

"Velcooome!" Guillermo is wearing a set of plastic fangs and a cape from Nandor's closet that's several sizes too large, draped over his autumnal cardigan. He spreads his arms fully, opening the cape and grimacing in what he clearly thinks is an intimidating fashion. Nandor sees that he's also balancing, on one hand, a large glass bowl filled with red lollipops wrapped in clear plastic.

A faint, sweet smell of blood wafts up to Nandor's nose. Guillermo is wearing an expectant expression, and the pieces fall into place. Nandor bares his fangs and hisses. "Trick or treat?"

Guillermo smiles. "Happy Halloveeen!" he says, and scoops a handful of the lollipops into Nandor's pumpkin basket. He watches as Nandor picks one out, unwraps it, and sticks it in his mouth. The metallic tang of blood spreads across Nandor's tongue, and a giddy grin springs to his face.

Unable to help himself, Nandor crowds forward into the vestibule, armor screeching. He takes the lollipop out of his mouth and sweeps a surprised Guillermo up into a passionate kiss. Pulling away after a long moment, he asks, "Where did you obtain these delicious candies, Guillermo?"

A blush rises to Guillermo's cheeks. "I knew you wouldn't be able to eat any of the candy we got today anyway, so...I made them."

Nandor feels his undead heart somersault in his chest and steps back to regain his composure. Then his eyes darken. "Let us go to your room," he growls, hearing Guillermo's pulse quicken in anticipation.

\--

The blue room looks different now with Guillermo's furnishings. There's no wall filled with scribbled-on tally marks, but Guillermo's portraits and décor are scattered around, and his recently purchased queen bed sits snugly in a corner. Nandor has come to appreciate it - Guillermo likes to burrow into the wall, creating perfect opportunities for what Nandor now knows as 'spooning'.

Setting the bowl and basket on whatever flat surface is nearest, they strip each other. Guillermo handles the heavy plates of Nandor's armor efficiently, deft hands undoing clasps and lowering each piece to the floor with ease, then falling into the practiced pattern of removing Nandor's underclothes. Naked, Nandor gracefully divests Guillermo of the oversized cape and removes the rest of his garments with vampiric speed, pausing here and there, as he's learned, to ensure he doesn't accidentally tear the comfortable fabric of Guillermo's clothing.

Mouths colliding with matching force, they fall into Guillermo's neatly made bed. Guillermo runs his hands through the rough carpet of hair on Nandor's chest, and Nandor feverishly fondles each plush curve of Guillermo's body.

Their lovemaking is slow and contented. Nandor's cool fingers delve gently into Guillermo's warm channel, stretching the welcoming tissue with meticulous care. On hands and knees, Guillermo arches his broad back as Nandor sinks into him, the alabaster sceptre satiating his hungry hole.

As they settle into a rhythm, Nandor plants a firm hand on Guillermo's head and presses his face into the silken sheets, covering Guillermo's soft bulk with his sturdy frame. Guillermo moans, wanton and muffled, when Nandor pinpoints his prostate with his considerable length, hips thrusting insistently against the voluptuous cushions of his buttocks.

They rock together, grunts and cries melding in a growing harmony that crescendos to a strangled peak. Guillermo's short, thick cock spurts hot seed into the crevice between his belly and the bedding while Nandor fills him to the brim with cold vampiric semen. He pushes his face into the crook of Guillermo's neck, shamelessly chasing the scent of Guillermo's blood permeating through his glistening, golden skin.

Breathing heavily, Guillermo lifts himself away from the wet spot at the same time that Nandor collapses bonelessly onto his back, and they end up in a tangle of limbs that eventually resolves with Nandor propped against the headboard and Guillermo curled on top of him. Relaxed and cozy, Guillermo lets his afterglow carry him off into a light doze.

Some time later, he's woken by the crinkle of plastic, followed by a satisfied sucking from above. Nandor is eating another bloodpop. Guillermo looks up and they share a tender smile, before Guillermo dips his head again, snuggling in closer, and Nandor returns to relishing his bespoke candy.

\--

Later, outside the locked door to Guillermo's bedroom, Nandor hears Nadja and Laszlo come home. They stumble down the hall to their crypt, Laszlo's stentorian tones and Nadja's piquant timbre playing their customary counterpoint.

Later still, the front door creaks and Colin Robinson's placid gait echoes in the corridor as he heads for the basement. He must be stuffed full, even forgoing his usual tap-tap on each door when he passes.

Guillermo snuffles in his sleep, then blinks drowsy eyes open and yawns before leaning up for a kiss, which deepens until he and Nandor are making out languidly. The candles are burning down, flickering in the corners of the room.

In a little bit, they'll get dressed, and Guillermo will walk Nandor to his crypt. He'll come back, replace his semen-soaked sheets, and lie down to sleep into the early afternoon before going to meet his Amá at the cemetary.

One day soon, Nandor may offer to turn Guillermo, or Guillermo may ask to be turned, and they will discuss the future and what it holds. It may be painful, or it may be rapturous.

But for now, they enjoy each other, warm and cool, vampire and slayer, in a quiet equilibrium.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt list here: https://twitter.com/wwcits/status/1307816076021907456
> 
> It's been so fun writing for the prompts this month. Thanks to everyone for reading!


End file.
